Divorce & Remarriage
- Are there Biblical grounds for divorce?
- Is a Christian obligated to reconcile with an unfaithful spouse?
Are there Biblical grounds for divorce?
I personally do not believe that there are any grounds for divorce. I don't believe that Christ was teaching about the grounds for divorce in Matthew 5:31,32 when he said, "And it was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for [the] cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.'" I believe that Christ was not setting a new standard for marriage but that the man who divorces his wife stigmatizes his wife as an adulteress. If she is an adulteress her behavior stigmatizes her. In the first century Jewish mindset a woman who was divorced was stigmatized as an adulteress when divorced. Jesus was condemning the practice of men who trivialize their marriages and divorced their wives.
I believe when divorce does take place, we as a church should reach out to the divorced brother or sister and help them to heal from the devastation of divorce. In some cases, restoration to a spiritual position is necessary. In any case, let's love and not condemn. It is interesting in Scripture that God regulates divorce and remarriage-this is not sin.
God does hate divorce, it says in Malachi 2, "as hatred of men abusing their wives." Note the context: Malachi 2:14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 But not one has done [so] who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did [that] one [do] while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16 'For I hate divorce,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'and him who covers his garment with wrong,' says the Lord of hosts. 'So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.'" The hatred of divorce is in the context of a man's treacherous wrong done to his wife. God can't abide this. However, remember that God divorced Israel, Jeremiah 3:8 "And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also." This does not justify divorce, but is counter to the many that use the out of context quote of Mal 2:16 that "God hates divorce."
Is a Christian obligated to reconcile with an unfaithful spouse?
No, however, the ideal is to have a couple remain in a marriage that is safe and filled with respect. A continual inability to be faithful will preclude this safety and respect.
I would encourage the offending partner to get counsel, set up accountability and full repentance before reconciliation. Both the husband and wife must enter the process fully for reconciliation. Reconciliation doesn’t work unless there is repentance and transformation.